January 26, 2012

The Clooney Conspiracy

Who could have predicted that Booker from the Facts of Life would turn into one of the most successful and critically acclaimed actors on the planet, not to mention being named People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive – twice.  The Cloon, as I affectionately call him, has churned out quite the career, earning himself several accolades along the way.

I’m no different than the next girl; of course I think The Cloon is incredibly dashing and charming and has the best head of hair in Hollywood. I really do. But I also think Mr. Clooney needs to come out of closet, and here’s why.

He’s impeccably dressed and groomed, more so than your typical metro male or tidy looking hipster. The Cloon radiates an essence of style and class that only a gay man is capable of emulating.

Full Nelson THIS

He only dates the D-list. What is up with his shabby selection of arm candy? All attractive girls, sure, but not one is accomplished in her own life and career. We have a Las Vegas waitress, a washed up actress who once played Billie on Days of Our Lives, an Italian MTV Europe VJ and most recently, a wrestler. Not an Olympic wrestler, but rather someone who resorts to body slamming and Full Nelsons.

Ever notice how The Cloon’s gaggle of girlfriends only stick around during awards season? They usually pop up in late summer in time for Cannes and the rest of the film festival circuit, making their exit a few short weeks after the Academy Awards. Could he be paying them off to accompany him to all of these high profile events? Or, is he really the womanizer the media makes him out to be with a penchant for low class pussy?

Brad Pitt once told a reporter during an interview in Europe that he would not marry Angelina until his friend George could legally marry in the US. I realize these two get a kick out of sparring at one another in the press, but I can’t help but think Brad may have been alluding to something.

Let’s see how long Stacey Keibler lasts after the Oscars February 26th. My guess is she’ll be gonzo by April, giving George enough time to carefully recruit his new and shiny arm candy for the 2012/2013 award season.

What do you think possums? Is The Cloon the real deal, or is there a bath house scandal in our midst? Discuss below!

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January 24, 2012

Make it a Double

Given Paris is in the midst of hosting Haute Couture Fashion Week, I thought I’d dedicate this edition of MIAD to one of the most famously tanned and botoxed faces in Europe, and her uncanny doppelganger – and head banger – Mr. Iggy Pop. The Jersey Shore aint got nothin’ on DV, she started rocking the jaundice look long before fist pumps and GTLs.

You can’t deny that Iggy looks like Donatella’s long, lost American cousin. Pump up his lips and add a shit load of eyeliner, and voila! Donatella’s stunt double.

Remember Janice from the Muppets? Yeah…

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January 20, 2012

Wedding + Sex Column

I’ve always loved the quote Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans, from the late great John Lennon. Truer words have never been spoken. Not that I’ve ever been a real planner or tried to map out the years ahead of me, but it blows my mind when I reflect on my reality a year ago. It’s amazing how much can change in the span of 12 months.

It also blows me away how life’s little events can unfold at the most ironic moments. As mentioned is this post, the bf popped the question while we were traveling Brazil last fall and we’re set to tie the knot this October. If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you’ll know that I’ve voiced some strong opinions on the sanctity of marriage and the wedding ritual. Many of which haven’t changed, however when the man you’re madly in love with whisks you to a romantic location and tells you he wants you to be his wife…well…I melted into a pool of sentimental soup. I’m quite certain my gal pals who have already blazed the bridal trail are just dying to tell me I knew you’d cave and they would be right. Turns out I’m a romantic (let’s keep that between us).

Shortly after getting engaged an opportunity to blog for The Province presented itself and I was thrilled when the Digital News Editor called me to discuss the topics I’d be covering. I write about a wide range of topics on the UC blog, contrary to the advice I’ve been given by several editors over the years. Pick a genre. You need to be known for being the authority on one topic, and you need to stick with it. I’ve always ignored this advice as there are too many things on this planet that inspire me, so I can’t possibly pick just one. But when The Province got in touch with me, I asked what they wanted me to cover…and the answer was sex.

Now, I like to write about sexy time, don’t get me wrong. I’ve published a handful of posts on the subject, many of which have been well received, and most likely garnered a few laughs. I’ve never thought of myself as sex blogger – enter the Carrie Bradshaw copycat comments here – but I’m more than up to the challenge. I get laid a lot more frequently now than when I was slutting around as a single girl, so I’m confident I’ll have plenty of content. I just find it somewhat hilarious that this falls on my plate the year I’m set to become a Missus.

To avoid mortifying my fiance more than I already do, if you have any topic ideas, weird fetishes, or some epic tales of sex and lust, feel free to drop me a line.

Check out my posts for The Province here.

Stay sexy Vancouver,
UC xx

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January 16, 2012

Golden Globes Best Dressed

The glitterati were out in full force last night for the 69th Annual Golden Globe Awards. Like many a fashion follower, I’m posting my best dressed list, but first let’s recount a few moments that really made the night.

Ricky Gervais wasn’t as cheeky and biting as last year, but he still delivered a few zingers throughout the evening. All of which were met with well prepared comebacks, most notably from Colin Firth and Madonna. Looks like the stars learned their lesson last year and decided to dish it back! In other news, Madonna behaved most bizarrely, sounding terrified to be in front of a room full of established film makers. So she should be (and we all know I love Madge) but I felt like she was a little out of her league. I loved the playful banter between The Cloon and Brad Pitt and nearly fell off the couch laughing when Jimmy Fallon did his Mick Jagger impression. Adam Levine looked like he was going to clock him! Such a douche. But the moment that stole the show had to be when Seth Rogen declared he was concealing a massive erection while presenting alongside the sexy Kate Beckinsale. Well played my son.

Now, onto the frocks!

Best Dressed
I can’t remember a time when Charlize ever rocked up to an award show looking less than amazing and this was no exception. Her pretty-in-pink Dior gown was to die for. Emma Stone has been making some cool choices for the red carpet these days, and her Lanvin gown definitely topped my list this year. I love the jewel encrusted belt and the hues are perfect for her. Now I’ll admit, I can’t stand those Glee kids especially Lea Michele, but hats off to her stylist for squeezing her into this Marchesa gown because it was gorgeous. Reese rocked it in a red Zac Posen, although it was a bit too matchy matchy with the red carpet itself. Still, her mega-watt smile made up for it. Salma Hayek was super sexy (as per yoosh) in a sparkly Gucci gown and although I’m not a huge fan of hunter green, Laura Dern pulled it off in a chic sequined frock by Andrew Gn.

                     

Worst Dressed
I absolutely adore Julianna Margulies – serious girl crush – which is why I think she could have done way better than this boring, body-hugging dress by Naeem Khan. I did love her fabulous jewels, though. Madge’s decollage was seriously suffocating in this Reem Acra gown. The color was right on trend, but the dress was way too tight. What the devil was Sarah Michelle Gellar thinking when she put on this tie-dyed nightmare by Monique Ihuillier? Apparently she let her 2-year-old toddler pick it out?! Sweet, I suppose, but she looked way too psychedelic for the Globes. Piper Perabo was by far the worst dressed of the night in this bizarre tent, ahem, gown by Theyskens’ Theory. If she was vying for attention to climb her way off the d-list, this didn’t do it. Sorry bebe. Finally, it pains me to say this but Zooey Deschanel, in her custom Prada, looked like a giant light bright. Whoops.

          

A final shout out goes to Ricky Gervais – he wasn’t the nasty host I hoped he’d be, but he did rock a rad suit by Ted Baker.

Oscar nominations are announced January 24th – the countdown is on!

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January 5, 2012

Lessons in Contentment

As we launch into 2012, I’m reminded more and more that I have an awful lot to be grateful for. There are the obvious and most important bits; good health, great friends, and an amazingly supportive family. Then there’s the icing on the cake bits like a good career, nice digs in a city I love, a kick ass fiancé and a pretty rock star lifestyle (sometimes a little too rock star). This time of year, I usually perch at an offbeat café somewhere to jot down a list of goals for the year ahead, a ritual that – I think – is a healthy habit for anyone. Yet this year I find myself asking – what next?!

Surely I haven’t achieved all of my life’s goals and desires by the ripe old age of 33, ofcourse not. But I can honestly say, as I start off 2012, that I’m actually feeling content. That’s not to say that I don’t have goals for the next 12 months but I’d like to, for once, focus on the fact that things are pretty fucking awesome. I find us 30-somethings tend to always focus on the climb. Climbing the corporate ladder, climbing the dating ladder, trying to build our investments, acquire assets…it’s always more, more, more. Not to get all blissed out on your asses (because we all know I’m not one for fluff) but I do agree that expressing ones gratitude does lead to abundance, whatever that may look like for you.

So that’s what I’m focusing on this year. I do resolve to write more, practice guitar more, be more mindful of my health…and I do have some pretty cool travel plans to look forward to. But my biggest resolution of all is to try to be present and pay attention to all the good stuff.

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December 28, 2011

Twenty Eleven

Holy mother, what a kick ass year it has been. As per my annual ritual, I always like to reflect on the year that has past, express some mayjah gratitude and come New Years day, set my intentions for the year ahead. 2011 has been a great ride.

On the travel front, which usually tops my list of highlights, I hit up some pretty incredible spots this year. In May, the bf and I spent a fabulous four days in San Francisco, one of my fave North American cities. We biked over the Golden Gate Bridge to Sausalito (see vid here), discovered a few fabulous eateries, bellied up to some bars on Fillmore Street and hung out with the hippie set on Haight Street. We also happened to be hanging in the Castro during Harvey Milk’s birthday celebration. In June, I made my way to Montenegro to visit some friends who have relocated from Vancouver to this war-torn-turned-wildly-luxurious piece of heaven on the Adriatic, spending a few days in Londontown on either end of my trip, as I usually do during jaunts to Europe. In October the bf and I headed south – way south – to Brazil and Argentina, definitely the highlight of my year. From buff bods and samba beats to PDAs and people tangoing in the streets, it was a total sensory overload. And the biggest news of all, the bf popped the question on the island of Floripa in southern Brazil, to which I replied – YES.

Culturally speaking, 2011 definitely did not suck. I caught my fair share of rock shows, most notably Foo Fighters, Soundgarden, Queens of the Stone Age and Prince (yes, I said Prince). For the first time in 5 years, I had to forgo my annual trip to TO for TIFF but made up for it by taking in a ton of films during the Vancouver International Film Festival. From Vancouver Pride to the Power of Women conference with keynote Ellen DeGeneres, 2011 definitely inspired. I have to say, though, one of my favorite weekends was spent watching Weezer and Metric headline LIVE at Squamish in my hometown.

UC garnered a wee bit of media coverage this year in an interview with the CBC about dating apps, namely related to this post about the Tingle iPhone app. In other news, we had the royal wedding, where like many Canadians on the west coast, I found myself awake at 2am to watch the nuptials unfold live. Speaking of nuptials, the bf and I co-officiated my Dad’s wedding in July. We’re already taking bookings for Bar Mitzvahs and ruby wedding parties. We said goodbye to some great talents like the incomparable Liz Taylor and Amy Winehouse. We suffered at the hands of rioters following the Vancouver Canucks’ devastating loss in game 7 of the Stanley Cup final. However, I’m grateful to have been at game 1 of the final series and even more grateful for the fabulous volunteers that cleaned up the mess post-riot. At least Vancouver snagged one major victory this year when the Lions won the Grey Cup and I was there to soak in all the madness.

I hope you had a smashing good time in 2011 as well. And thank you for reading my blog. I know I can be biting at times, but I appreciate your ongoing support. Until 2012, possums – Happy New Year!

Stay tuned for some exciting news from the UC in January!

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December 23, 2011

Best Songs of 2011

2011 has been a pretty kick ass year in music. You had bands like Foster the People and The Black Keys break out big time. Rap gods Jay-Z and Kanye got together to produce one of the best albums of the year. We also had a few bullshit songs like Friday by Rebecca Black and the usual stories of celebrities behaving badly. Most notably this year marked the tragic death of Amy Winehouse. But let’s reflect on all the songs that got us through 2011. The songs that made you booga-loo, make love to your lady or simply inspired you. Here’s my list for best songs of 2011…

Princess Of China – Coldplay
Run the World – Beyonce
Helena Beat – Foster the People
Where Have You Been – Rihanna
Howlin’ For You – The Black Keys
How Come You Never Go There – Feist
The Adventures Of Rain Dance Maggie – Red Hot Chili Peppers
Beautiful People – Chris Brown feat. Benny Benassi
Otis – Jay-Z and Kanye West
Big Jet Plane – Angus & Julia Stone
Fragile Bird – City and Colour
Lights – Ellie Goulding
Right On – The Roots
Someone Like You – Adele
Sail – Awolnation
Little Marriage – Lia Ices
Twice – Little Dragon
Born This Way – Lady Gaga
Rolling in the Deep – Adele
Meyrin Fields – Broken Bells
Rope – Foo Fighters

Merry Christmas possums!

Be good,
UC xx

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December 19, 2011

Urban Cowgirl’s Coveted List

Looking for some last minute gifts for the lady on your list? Can’t bear the thought of entering a mall without your game plan mapped out? You’ve come to the right place possums. Like last year, I’ve put together my Coveted List to help all you last minute shoppers – like me – choose some choice pressies for your wife, girlfriend or gal pal. Get out your plastic, people…

I’m totally obsessed with Glee – no, not the chirpy geeks on TV but a fabulous BC-based jewelry line with really unique designs at super reasonable price points. Pick your girl up a pair of earrings or something sparkly for New Years Eve. In Vancouver, a great selection of Glee can be found at Fine Finds in Yaletown.

I’ve recently become a little fragrance obsessed, and the latest perfume I’m pining over is Candy by Prada. It’s strong and probably better suited for evening, but if you have an outgoing, saucy gal – like moi – on your list, this might be one to consider.

And the biggest comeback of 2011 goes to…Miss Piggy! Girl is garnering all sorts of endorsements, most notably as a spokes model for MAC. The Miss Piggy for MAC collection comes with liquid eyeliner, lashes and a pink eye shadow perfect for girls with blue eyes, much like Miss Piggy herself.

As most of you know, I have an affinity for Mr. Michael Kors and his ever fabulous line of bags. One that tops my list this season is his Sloan metallic lizard clutch in nickel. Can’t you see yourself smooching someone at midnight on NYE whilst slinging this sexy bag over your shoulder? Yes please.

I’m a big fan of Paloma Picasso’s line, available exclusively at Tiffany’s. The bf bought me a fab bracelet from this line last year! This year it’s all about the pendants. If you’re up for a bit of a splurge, the Venezia Stella medallion pendant in 18k gold is to die for. I also love the Venezia Goldoni quadruplo pendant in silver. So pretty and totally timeless.

Here are a few other items to top off her stocking this Christmas. Shea butter hand cream from L’OCCITANE en Provence is seriously the only thing saving my hands this winter. I highly recommend it! And why not toss calorie counting aside for just a few more days and indulge in some Godiva chocolate truffles? I die.

Looking for something with a little more meaning? Consider making a donation to one of these fantastic causes on behalf of your lady love. And don’t forget Cans for Comments! We’re donating a non-perishable food item to the Greater Vancouver Food Bank Society for each and every comment published on the Urban Cowgirl blog during the month of December.

Happy shopping possums – elbows up!

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December 14, 2011

Cans for Comments

For the second year in a row, we’ll be donating a non-perishable food item to the Greater Vancouver Food Bank Society for every comment posted on Urban Cowgirl throughout the month of December. Want to do more? Visit their website to find out how you can help.

I’d like to challenge other Vancouver-based bloggers to join me in donating Cans for Comments!

The Greater Vancouver Food Bank Society provides food and related assistance to those in need.

Twitter @VanFoodBank
Facebook http://www.facebook.com/VanFoodBank

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December 13, 2011

Table for one

With the holiday season in full swing, most of us are running rampant between work and parties and other holiday events. I don’t know about you, but I’ve certainly consumed my share of champs and vino thus far. Being the life of the party is such a rough role to play, possums. What might be even tougher, though, is being single over the holidays.

There’s something about Christmas that brings about a bit of romance. I hold films like Serendipity, The Holiday and Love Actually 100% accountable for this. Although the holidays are very much a time to manifest peace and practice goodwill, it’s also a fantastic time to hook up for a little Christmas canoodle. So don’t sit at home because you don’t have a date to your office do. Don’t forgo a single invite if you can help it. Put on the foxiest party frock you can find and circulate. This goes for the fellas as well, minus the frock.

I’ve often traveled the globe on my own, and as much as I’ve enjoyed my adventures with friends and loved ones, there’s something incredibly empowering about walking into a bar or restaurant and requesting a table for one. I’ve suggested this to my single gal pals on a few occasions, usually to a little criticism, but I encourage you to consider it.

When you hit the town with a harem of girls, which most of us do, you tend to focus all your energy on each other. It’s one thing to have a girl’s night out – I’m all about being a willful wing woman – but there’s something to be said for situating oneself and really soaking in the scenery. We stand to miss so much by not venturing out solo once in a while, so why not give it a go?

Belly up to the bar somewhere fabulous, order a few drinks and scope out the scene. Worst case scenario, you’ll have enjoyed a few cocktails and laughed off a few one-liners care of your bartender. Best case, you could be approached by an interesting suitor.

This time of year can be absolutely draining, I know, but get out there and spread a little sparkle and cheer. You never know who you’re going to meet.

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