YOU: at home, on the couch, in your jam jams, gin and tonic in hand. It’s Friday night and you’re flipping through your online dating profile as sexy Jill Scott jams play in the distance. HIM: dashing, charming, good on paper and seemingly available. It’s Friday night and he’s already been scooped up by some other girl. Why bother getting dolled up and heading out on the town when the odds are stacked against you, right? But are they…really?
Like many of us millennials, I too dabbled in online dating before snagging my mate. In fact, in a round about way we originally connected on MySpace (Facebooks cool predecessor for all you youngsters). And although my time perusing potential suitors on Plenty of Fish was short lived, I certainly understood the appeal of online dating. For me, a busy professional with a (self induced) manic schedule, it seemed like the most effective use of my oh so precious time.
I know some people who have had great success with online dating. A recently divorced friend of mine spent one week on Match.com and ended up connecting with a really lovely guy. My own mother, who’s happily married today, met her husband on Lavalife. I’m certainly not suggesting that you remove yourself entirely from the online dating scene. But it recently occurred to me that my group of fabulous single girls is growing, many of which engage in online dating, so clearly something is a miss. I swear, sometimes I want to parade these women down the streets shouting how incredible they are!
Not all the single girls out there are looking for a committed relationship. Many are quite content to do their thing and if a man enters the scenario, that’s just gravy. But for those of you 30-something ladies manifesting marriage and a family, the clock is ticking my friends. As loudly as Marisa Tomei can stomp her feet.
So fuck online dating. Don’t spend another second milling about your flat, fiddling with your profile picture. Instead, get out of your comfort zone and meet some new people. As I’ve suggested before, this could mean sitting at a bar on your own or traveling across town to a new watering hole. Ditch your regular routine, smile at strangers and make eye contact. Engage with living and breathing human beings!
The choice is yours, ladies. You can stay home, watch reruns of SATC while playing a few fruitless rounds of FoxyBingo. Or, you can make a choice. Ditch the drudgery of shopping online for your next love interest. Hit the town and make it happen.
Also published in the Huffington Post.